I had another good talk with J yesterday, though I kept breaking off into tangents.

It’s always good to be honest, and honesty doesn’t usually go hand in hand with an eating disorder.  However, we both told eachother we had mixed emotions about living together.  As our dietician has told me time and again, it could end up being a great thing, or it could be a sh*t storm.

My weekend was not great.  I felt out of control and completely in my eating disorder.  I didn’t know how to get out of it.  Once the work week started, I went back into “recovery mode,” as structure is good for me.

My therapist called me yesterday afternoon to check in, and I told her I felt better about recovery, but still apprehensive about living with J.  This whole situation sucks: her body composition triggers the heck out of me, yet we have so much in common it’s inevitable we will become friends.  So except for the whole ED thing (which of course is a big deal), it’s the ideal roommate situation.

Ugh.

So I sent J an email, suggesting maybe we check in once a week with how we’re doing, and what support we might need from each other.  She agreed, as long as we have the usual parameters of abstaining from talk about calories, weights, workouts, and foods (well, the food part is hard since we cook together sometimes, but you know what I mean.)  So it’s a start.  Time will tell, I guess.

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